


Of Hurt Souls and Bubble Baths

by childofhebe



Series: MerGenius, MerBillionaire, MerPlayboy, MerPhilanthropist [2]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, H2O: Just Add Water, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Aftermath, Bubble Bath, Corrupting the Youth, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I simply had to include that Bruce/Thor moment okay don't judge, M/M, Marvel Universe, Mentions of Smut, Merman Tony Stark, POV Tony Stark, Precious Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Romance, Secrets, Tony Stark Has Self-Esteem Issues, Tony Stark-centric, merman/human relationship, part of a series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-20 06:10:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16131278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/childofhebe/pseuds/childofhebe
Summary: Steve asks Tony why he kept his secret from him. And after Tony reveals just too many terrifying reasons behind it, Steve realizes it doesn't exactly matter.They have each other's backs now.





	Of Hurt Souls and Bubble Baths

**Author's Note:**

> This is a lyrical mess. Apologies. I hope it is not too much out of character XD 
> 
> Basically based off a comment from [BabePieHole](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BabePieHole/pseuds/BabePieHole). It was the first prompt I ever got and fulfilled! I hope it does make sense. I love this AU and the list of things for it only grew up last month. 
> 
> Unbeta-ed. Let me know if you see any severe mistakes I should repair. Thanks a lot <3

Tony had always known there would be trouble if anyone unwanted found out about his newest secret. He hasn't gone through any of it yet, but he was terrified of the thought.

Stephen Strange was probably too used to 'strange magical events' to make a fuss around it, and the same thing applied to Peter and his Gen Z internet obsession. And Bruce, the sweetheart he is, never made him feel bad about his mermaid tail - Tony's science bro had enough of his own experience with weird, unwanted transformations to do a dick move like that.

 

Then there were others, his friends and the rest of Avengers. Despite knowing some of them for a really long time and trusting them with his own life in battles, Tony couldn't afford to risk anything. His stakes were too high, and he could barely sleep with all of the exaggerated worries constantly mulling through his head. He couldn’t let his guard down, not even around Rhodey, Pepper… Or Steve.

 

Unfortunately, the cat was out of the bag for Steve, and ever since Captain's eyes laid on his tail, Tony could feel the anticipation hung in the air like a piece of ham in the smokehouse.

Steve acted very understandingly and supportively from the first second, and it baffled Tony a lot. Simply unbelievable - Capsicle is NOT mad at Tony for keeping something secret? Even after the last time? Bullshit, the scene was coming, and soon.

 

They don't call him a genius without a reason.

 

\---

 

“I know you can't be okay about this.”

 

Steve had been insufferable ever since he found out, and Tony had enough of Steve's wide, supportive smiles, or the carefulness with which he handled any kind of liquid around Tony, or his unshattered casualty whenever he walked into the bathroom and Tony laid in their bathtub, with his fin sticking out over the edge. But what was the worst and actually made Tony bring the topic up on his own, were Steve's forlorn eyes. The bottomless pit of deep thought intensified whenever Steve thought Tony wasn't looking, and it drove Tony crazy.

 

“What do you mean?” Steve blinked, hot water clearly lulling him to sleep after the training session. Today was the day Steve resolved and climbed into the bathtub with Tony. Captain's legs neatly fitted around Tony's tail, and his head helplessly fell against Tony's shoulder some time ago, as they enjoyed their quiet moment together in a hot water, surrounded by coconut-scented bubbles. Well, Steve enjoyed it, Tony simply couldn't relax with about million things to worry about.

 

“This, of course,” Tony spoke and motioned his hand to the end of a bathtub, where his fin slightly bobbed as Tony moved. Steve frowned and gently caressed little hairs on Tony's nape with his nails. It took all of Tony's will to stay still instead of shuddering and leaning into the touch.

“But what about it?”

Tony let out a dragged, prolonged sigh. “Don't make me say it.”

Steve's frown deepened. “Tones, you know you can talk to me about anything.”

“I know I can! But aren't you mad that I just couldn't this time?”

 

The next was silence, interrupted only by several bubbles popping. “I'm not mad,” Steve breathed as he moved upwards, sitting and straddling Tony's tail. Big blue eyes tried to catch Tony's, but the merman suddenly found the bathroom's rug much more interesting. “I don't believe you.”

“You're being ridiculous. Look at me,” a gentle hand touched Tony's chin. Merman tensed up, but let Steve slowly turn his head, until their eyes met.

“What are you so anxious about, Tony?”

 

The question, despite being so quiet and gentle, hit Tony like a bullet. He sucked in a sharp breath and jerked, freeing his chin from Steve's fingers. Steve had to grip an edge of a bathtub to prevent falling. Stabilised again, Steve sighed with a small smile adorning his lips. “Wow, I am sorry love, should we-”

 

“It doesn't bother you?” Tony could feel his inner walls crumbling, once again because of Steve. How many times has that already happened? The bubble of wrath, despair, and insecurity became too big for his resolve to keep in, and suddenly Tony was bursting, just because he balanced on the edge for too long and with Steve, he had always felt incredibly safe and vulnerable at the same time. He let go, let himself fall, not completely, just with the one little thing, just with this one little life-changing secret. One human being, however broken it might be, can only have as much of those.

 

“As if I wasn't fucked up enough before, another wonder happened to me, and now on the top of everything I am a fish. Freaking half fish on the bad side of forty full of as much trauma and daddy issues as is humanly possible! But no, it's completely fine, because that clearly doesn't bother you, even though I can't figure out why, that's not by far the worst thing. I just couldn't tell you, how could I? I never planned to do so, it was a stupid accident! Your reaction was quite different as it should be, but I don't feel relieved, I can't afford that, because eventually, you will realize that I'm a freak that's not worth it, too much trouble, so far from what you really deserve-”

 

Steve did nothing to stop Tony's desperate ramble, until now. Quiet, disbelieving question cut the waterfall of words in half.

“You were never going to tell me?”

 

And after that, the first sob clawed its way out of Tony's throat, and overwhelming silence took over. Tony had so much more to say, so much more to pour out, and was unable to because of heavy breaths and sobs - it would all answer Steve's question much better than tears. The paralysing fear of others finding out and abandoning him along with Steve because they always were and always would be more loyal to him, the loneliness and misunderstandings forcing him to go into the hiding without his tech and armors, the public somehow finding out and someone powerful hunting him down in the same way Ross did with Bruce ages ago, and caging him somewhere for the nasty experimentation for the rest of his life.

Not only the loss of his friends and family was terrifying, but the aspects of the curse itself also were the material for the new batch of nightmares. The dread he felt every time he could feel a drop of water touching his skin, how his senses dilated to 11 and perception of time slowed down, the whole reality narrowing down to the single drop of water and the clock inexorably ticking in his head. When he decided to avoid water altogether, then the awful dryness and stiffness came. His skin felt wrong, chapped, damaged, until after few days he couldn't endure it anymore and poured the whole bucket of water on himself in the workshop. The transformation erased every single little damage - only to feel heavy and clumsy and helplessly, stretched with his fin across the wet floor, unable to move, as the literal fish out of the water. The chlorine in their pool made his merman and human skin itch and eyes burn, and his list of safe spaces narrowed down to the only one - in the bathtub behind a locked door.

 

But no one knew that. No one could know that, so he shoved all of his struggles behind the mask of a narcissistic sarcastic egoist, as he did many times before. He was successful. No one knew (well, except Strange, who obviously had to stick his long nose into Tony's things), that meant no one would abandon him. He let himself go only two times, with the people he was most certain would never misunderstand his curse.

He could keep his family for as long as he kept his curse a secret.

It was too late now. He had to let go. Again.

 

Buried deep inside his own head, Tony didn't notice himself emitting symptoms of the panic attack, but Steve did. Captain's gentle, worried voice didn't get through the powerful white noise in Tony's ears. Tony curled onto himself tighter and tighter, and by his subconscious charms, water in the bathtub became hotter and hotter. Steve tried to calm his boyfriend down, caressing his head, shoulders, arms, whispering gentle loving words, as how none of that was true, that he would never abandon Tony like that, how he is beautiful and valid and his tail is ethereally breathtaking, but nothing seemed to work. Steve had to climb out of the bath and crouch next to it instead, to avoid water burning through his skin. The water couldn't hurt Tony, but his own mind could do that. However, Steve knew better than to do anything against Tony's wishes when the genius was in this state.

 

“Please, I… just need to be alone right now,” a soft whisper escaped Tony after Steve gently freed his face from palms, revealing Tony's dimly dead eyes full of shiny tears. Tony clearly fought with himself. Tony's mind screaming at Steve to stay, to hug him and never let go, but his changed body wanted nothing less than to curl up under the scalding water and let go of the reality for a second, dive into the fake but solid sense of safety. A shocked sharp breath made Tony flash his eyes on Steve, but an instant regret squeezed at his throat when the hurt and worry in Steve's expression found its way into his mind.

“Alright love,” Steve whispered, and warm lips touched Tony's damp forehead. “I'm so sorry Tony… I didn't want to do this to you… I would check on you soon.”

 

And then, he was gone. The water Tony sat in was close to boiling, filling the air with thick gushes of steam, but he couldn't feel it. All of the warmth left with his love, and Tony's wreck of a psyche had no idea if it ever would come back.

Tony sank his head under the surface, so he wouldn't be able to feel tears pouring down his cheeks.

 

\---

 

Tony woke up in his bed, in naked human form, curled into the duvet, with no solid body of the super soldier pressed against his own.

 

For starters, he had no idea how he got there, but that was usual. He often woke up in bed without any memory of getting there with his blood full of alcohol. Relationship with Steve changed everything for better - his drinking habits and his sleeping place statistics.

However, the lack of Steve with him in bed truly concerned him.

All of the anxiety and despair from yesterday hit him like a meteor, and the thought made Tony's head hurt more than the toughest hangover or a migraine. Genius buried his head in the pillow, wanting to crawl under the rock and die, for the umpteenth time in his life.

 

As the toughest hangovers or migraines are, he eventually crawled out of the bed to get some coffee. And to find Steve. Well, at least to attempt a search for his boyfriend, and to get some chance to talk to him. Or just a big hug, sweet kiss and hours of cuddles, apologies, and explanations.

Steve was nowhere to be found on Tony's way to a kitchen, but he did find nice company there - Peter sat on the barstool behind the kitchen island, slowly munching on his cinnamon cereal. Young spider's eyes were firmly fixated on Bruce, who prepared eggs and nonchalantly hummed. There was nothing wrong with it - Peter practically worshipped the ground Bruce walked on (no, Tony wasn't jealous at all, there was no reason, Peter still loved him more) - but Peter forgot to even blink. Tony frowned and came closer, landing his palm on Peter's shoulder. The teen didn't acknowledge him, not even with a flinch. Bruce heard a slap of Tony's palm and turned with an unusually wide smile on his lips.

“Good morning,”  Bruce chirped and waved with the spatula. “Do you want any eggs?”

 

And thanks to that, Tony saw the reason for Peter's bewilderment - the huge purple love bite on Bruce's neck. Tony pursed his lips. “Yeah, sure, why not,” abandoning quiet Peter's side, he walked around the kitchen island to pour himself some fresh coffee. Just after he downed the first cup at one go, he was able to continue. “Thor's back?”

 

“Umm, no,” Bruce answered, his attention back on the stove, “Not entirely. He comes and goes. Full timetable with setting up the Asgardian colony in Norway. Did he contact you?”

Tony took another gulp of his coffee. Of course, he already knew all this. “No, but he… Did leave… Greetings,” Tony looked Bruce in the eye and scratched his neck. By the basic reflex, Bruce did the same thing. Scientist's eyes widened at the phantom pain.

“Oh my…” Bruce screeched, flashed his eyes on Peter, then on Tony, and then found his reflection in the nearest spoon. “What a moron, I told him not to, no wonder the kid's completely out of himself, I am going to-”

“Alright, alright, calm down, I was joking, it's fine,” Tony quickly intervened and massaged Bruce's shoulders as he heard scientist's voice slightly deepen. Thor's smuggled hickey definitely wasn't something Bruce should hulk out over. Bruce relaxed under Tony's hands, mumbled some more curses, and leaned over his eggs again. Peter snorted first, and Tony couldn't help but laugh too.

 

“Bruce corrupting the youth? That's the last thing I would've expected,” Tony's favorite voice suddenly resounded, and his eyes met Steve's. Captain looked like he hasn't slept much, which caused a pained jab in Tony's chest, but his smile was genuine and wide.

“How long have you been standing there?” Tony said, his hope rising. Steve smirked.

“Long enough… Can we talk?”

 

\---

 

“What you told me yesterday… I had the whole night to think about everything. And I need you to listen to me right now.”

 

They were in a bathtub again, surrounded by bubbles, this time with Tony on top and Tony's tail snug in between Steve's legs. Steve's hand gently held Tony's chin again, but Tony felt far from threatened.

“I know you have really low self-esteem. It doesn't make any sense, because you're the most beautiful, wonderful, smart person and the single best thing that has ever happened to me. When I found out about this… If I'm going to be completely honest, I was a little hurt. Angry even, that you didn't tell me sooner. But I didn't want to scare you. You looked so incredibly terrified, so I needed you to snap out of it. And then it all became easier and easier, and I wasn't angry anymore. But… I think I still would like to know,” Steve pulled Tony's head higher, merman's forehead against his lips. “Please tell me. What are you afraid of?”

 

Before, it was hard. To tell the truth, as those two blue eyes scanned his very soul. Tony had no idea when it changed, but all he could feel in that moment was love and trust.

“Misunderstanding,” he breathed out. Steve's expression hasn't changed, so he continued. “That people would find out and… React badly. Hurt me. Or you. Or the others. I simply couldn't let anyone find out… Just like that.”

 

Steve's lips curled into the soft smirk that Tony loved so much. “You're an idiot. Why would anything change because of this? You can't bear every burden alone, love. As you said before - as Bruce helps you with research, and Peter guards you - more people knowing can only help you. Myself included,” another kiss, this time proper. Tony's inner walls came down for the second time in two days, but not so violently as before. They melted from love and warmth Steve provided.

“I may be an idiot but I'm your idiot,” Tony whispered into Steve's lips and pressed another kiss in.

“Exactly,” Steve's eyes sparkled, and Tony's heart soared.

“From now on, no secrets. For real.”

“Exactly.”

“We need to get a hot tub. The one I can fit myself into. On the roof, so we can stargaze.”

“Exactly,” and after that, Steve didn't let Tony say anything else.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Feed me kudos and comments please <3 This AU is my life.
> 
> If you have any other ideas or prompts, let me know, I am really happy to fulfill them :3 Here in the comments or on my [tumblr](http://childofhebe.tumblr.com/).


End file.
